A Glimpse of Me

A Glimpse of Me

I wrote this in 2017 and to say I was in a different state of mind is an understatement. I cannot express or put into words what I had been experiencing physically and mentally. No one will ever know the fate that appeared to be prepared for me. At my table was either death or dependency on someone to care for me. I called out to death but he wouldn’t take me.

I have my days when it’s physically tough to get out of bed. Days I don’t feel well. Days that it’s difficult to walk because of muscle weakness in my legs. Days when I wish I could just stop taking my medications. Days I wish I didn’t have to see Doctors for anything. Days I feel bruised and broken from this disease.

Moments when I cry out in pain, anger, frustration, and helplessness. Moments when I doubt myself. Moments when fear consumes me. Moments when I hold myself back. Moments when I worry. Moments when I stress myself out.

This cycle of my life is teaching me about humanity. Who is real and who is not. Through the good times and the bad times, you’ll know who will be there to share in these moments. The ones who want to share in both your joy and pain. I’m sifting out the bad and keeping the good. As much as it pains me, even those I wish would change but I know won’t. No time nor the energy for bullshit. Say what you mean and mean what you say.

In the midst of this cycle, I’m still strong, stubborn, fearless, unstoppable, loving, sexy, joyful, hopeful, thankful, motivated, learning, growing, and never giving up.

I am who I am because of the obstacles, trials, and tribulations that I’ve faced in my life and continue to face. I wouldn’t want it any other way. Those who haven’t faced any challenges, struggles, or difficulties in their lives cannot relate and therefore have no right to judge.

This is my truth and my reality.