If you have known me for more than 30 years, then you will recognize this place. For those who do not know, it was my Church back when I was in my mid-teens to early twenties. It has not been the same Church in over 20 years. After moving back home almost 7 years ago and not having been in a “Church” in about the same amount of time, I felt something inside telling me I needed to get back, but I had no idea where to go. I then noticed that the building was still there but was a different Church. My inner voice told me that I needed to return to this place even though it was apparent it was not the same Church. The building drew me back, but I honestly was hesitant to step foot in there for fear there would be a lightning strike. Therefore, I would sit in the very last row in the back. I did this for quite a while until the ushers insisted that people sit closer to the front. I would only move a couple of rows in front of me at a time. After encouragement from people in my Sunday School, I ended up sitting closer to the front than I had planned.
I have been attending since 2019, and when COVID hit, it was closed for a while, and they would primarily stream the services. With my responsibilities to take care of mom and dad, this became more convenient for me. Even after the Church was opened again for in-person services, I continued to stream. It was not until maybe six months after my mom’s passing in September 2023 that I began to attend Church again since I was alone and did not have any excuses. It was hard to get used to being around people and crowds, and it was not large crowds by any means, but there were more people than I was used to being around at once.
It was not until recently that I thought about sitting on the balcony because the original pews were still up there. The pictures attached to this post I took when I first sat upstairs. As I sat there looking around, I felt a flood of memories come over me. Memories from more than 30 years ago, a different time, place, people, atmosphere. I sometimes struggled, feeling like I was back in school, where I wanted to be part of the “in” crowd. Looking back, it was the most ridiculous thing to feel that way, and the lengths I would go to feel seen and acknowledged. A desperate need to feel like I have friends. I am embarrassed that I even felt and acted that way. During this moment, good memories also made their way in and, most importantly, comfort. I felt so at peace sitting there that I texted these photos to one of my previous Youth pastors that I had during that time. I felt the need to share with someone who could relate and possibly they would have a flood of memories and mixed emotions upon looking at the photos.
I now make it a point to go straight up to the balcony when I attend Church to go to my quiet place amid the crowds.
The World of Dlo 