How do you look beyond a bad day that involves dealing with forces bigger than you? Forces are the health insurance companies and doctor’s offices. I unexpectedly found myself in the urgent care clinic a month ago today because, out of the blue, I started feeling sick while at a dentist’s appointment. It was something that just came over me as I was sitting in the waiting room. I had been feeling fine and had no inclination that I was coming down with anything before this moment. So, while at the clinic, they tested me for the flu and COVID-19, and both tests came out negative. The Doctor stated I may have caught a virus or infection and to rest, take pain medication as needed, drink plenty of fluids, and sent me on my way. The following days I found myself feeling worse and existing on the couch not able to do much. I would force myself to get up and try to do simple tasks, and just as I was thinking maybe I could shake it off, the symptoms would remind me they were not going anywhere.
The Monday following the clinic visit, I experienced chest pains I hadn’t experienced before, in the back of an ambulance and on my way to the ER. I also had a series of adrenal crisis episodes (I have Secondary Adrenal Insufficiency) from the moment EMS picked me up and also a few more at the hospital. They admitted me into the hospital immediately, and unfortunately, I had to stay in the ER holding until a room was available more than 24 hours later. During my hospitalization, they ran a series of tests and blood work, ruled out any cardiological issues, and ruled out any strokes and seizures. I pretty much knew all the tests that were performed would be negative. I am pretty healthy for the most part, aside from my Secondary Adrenal Insufficiency, Panhypopituitarism, Hypothyroidism, and high blood pressure, which are managed daily. I rarely get sick with a cold or flu, so experiencing this was abnormal. My symptoms were fatigue, muscle weakness, muscle aches, tingling, numbness, and pain. In addition, my neck is sore, and it feels like I am having difficulty holding my head up because it feels heavy. I have difficulty concentrating and have blurry vision at times. I also feel like my mobility is unstable as if I am walking lopsided.
Upon discharge from the hospital, I followed up with my primary physician, who referred me to a neurologist and a rheumatologist. If you are familiar with this process, it can be daunting to confirm that the specialists accept your insurance and get an appointment that is not months out. I was able to get an appointment to see the neurologist the following week after seeing my primary doctor, so I was pleased. The Neurologist immediately ordered some blood work and also an order for two different MRI tests to check my neck and spine. I completed the blood work immediately following my appointment. The process of scheduling the MRI tests has been challenging, to say the least, and I think the most stressful part so far, aside from the symptoms I am experiencing.
I have spent hours on the phone with my insurance company, multiple calls to the radiology centers to check for any cancellations so I can get an earlier appointment, sending messages to my Primary and Neurologist through the patient portals, having a friend fax a document to my Primary Dr. I found out yesterday that after I had scheduled the MRI appointment that my insurance did not have a record of an MRI referral because my Primary Dr office never sent a copy to my insurance company. Needless to say, I had a meltdown on the phone with my insurance company because it was hard enough to get an appointment, only to find out the MRI tests cannot be done before the pre-authorization is approved by my insurance. As it stands right now, I have a telemed appointment with my Primary on Monday just so she can fax the MRI order to my insurance and start the pre-authorization process. Even though they received not one but two faxed copies (one from my neurologist’s office) of my MRI order early this afternoon, they insisted that I wait until Monday before they proceed. I am forced to play the game and jump through the hoops.
After my conversation with the insurance company this morning, I was even more drained and felt worse than I did when I started my day. So much so that due to my adrenal insufficiency and the stress of the situation, I needed to double my regular steroid dosage so I would not have an adrenal crisis. I was telling myself not today. After taking my medication, I ate something and did my best to relax and rest for a couple of hours. I have found that my mobility has slowed at this point, so I have to pace myself with the simplest tasks even while working from home because I have to pace myself and do things in stages. One of the things the Neurologist suspects is that it could be a virus that I contracted. We still have no answers until she completes the tests she wants to order. I am still waiting for the rheumatologist referral order to go through the process, so that will be the next step if necessary.
This is not my first rodeo when it comes to healing with health issues, so this is not unfamiliar territory. After experiencing my brain tumor back in 2007, I have plenty of experience through the years of dealing with various doctors, specialists, and insurance companies. One aspect that I do not like is feeling vulnerable and weak. On the day I was experiencing the chest pains, I was literally trying to tell myself it was not happening and I was going to shake it off. I even began to cook dinner and put chicken breast on the stove. The more I moved, the stronger the chest pains came on, and I called my cousin to come to the house to take me to the ER.
I have been thinking about the events that have transpired so far, and the words that come to my mind are pivot and reset. Before the initial event of the clinic visit, I had been contemplating decisions to make regarding what I wanted to do during this next stage in my life. I was beginning to test the waters of various opportunities, and suddenly, this happened and put a pause on everything. I wondered if this was God’s way of getting my attention and telling me to stop because I was getting ahead of myself. My current situation leaves me with no choice but to be still and wait, which is not in my nature. It also reminds me that despite what people may say or think or the unsolicited opinions thrown my way, it does not matter because I answer to only myself and God. I will continue to focus on God because I know He is in control, and only He can bring me through this valley.
My peace comes first.
The World of Dlo 