I’m grateful for the Salvation Army truck that came to the house this morning to pick up some donation items. It’s been quite a task over the last 5 months to be able to go through Dad’s things that I had in boxes. I finally feel like I made some progress in getting things out of his storage shed. My brothers helped me yesterday by giving away a twin bed mattress and frame. It’s these little feats that are worth celebrating!
Last night I was mentally frustrated and did my best to calm my emotions. I went to sleep with a vision of what I wanted to do first thing in the morning before I go to work. I’m proud to say that I did it! I completed a glute exercise and started doing some cleaning that I hadn’t even planned on. Mission Accomplished! I now pray that I can keep my spirit open to what today is going to bring.
I was recently going through one of my accordion organizers when I came across these little pages of things I had written. It literally stopped me in my tracks because I don’t own any small composition books because they are too small. I was looking at these pages and trying to shed some light on when, where, and why because there are more pages and a few were possibly a mixture of a Sunday School lesson and others pondering life decisions. I mean the subject matter in these are from one extreme to the next. I’m only revealing a glimpse into what was coming out of my head at the time of which I am still not sure.
I’m reading some of the words I wrote “Pretend As If”, “Core Values – Center of Orbit”, and “Time in your life when you felt fantastic in the flow”. I’m thinking was this some sort of spontaneous utterance of thoughts or some sort of prompt writing exercise I came across? I read this and it bothers me that I honestly don’t remember anything about these pages that are staring back at me with my very own words. It is scary to be honest with you that I am even sharing them and I am feeling a sense of vulnerability.
I do enjoy reading my journals from past to present and revisiting events and memories. I am always pretty good about writing the date or something that will provide a timeframe of when in my life it was written. This though, remains a mystery. Maybe I need to do more of this and venture out of the box and allow the creative juices to flow.
Spontaneity and impromptu bring it on.
I felt inspired to take a moment this morning to stop before the day gets ahead of me. This is the first thing that jumped out at me. I know not only for myself that this is a continuous mantra, but I hope you will take these words to heart too.
I’m sharing with you this stripped-down makeup-free photo of me. The photos I post on social media are filter-free with the exception of some Snapchat posts because I have enjoyed the variety of lenses and graphic backgrounds. I have nothing against filters or people who use them in their social media. It’s all a personal preference so to each their own. With the power of makeup, I can conceal and hide any imperfections. I can also enhance other features to lure the eyes away from anything I don’t want you to see.
If there is anything I could use a filter on are the words that can come out of my mouth. Preferably the thoughts that come to my mind before they escape out of my mouth. The saying think before you speak comes to mind and being told this growing up and even telling myself this now as an adult. I have a tendency to react first which immediately reflects in my facial expressions and posture then the words follow that correspond with the expression. It can be both good and bad reactions. If it’s something I find funny I can get the immediate urge to share, but then it’s like wait can I really share this? I find it funny and hilarious, but I have a feeling not everyone will view it the same way. Then there’s the other side of this when it’s something being said or done against me or someone I love, a text, a post, or anything that I don’t agree with or feel defensive about that it can go sideways very easily if I allow my emotions to take over my thoughts and words.
Sometimes it takes me stopping and taking a breath, a distraction, walking away, getting angry, crying, or venting to someone to get to the realization that reacting in this manner is a waste of time, energy and the stress of it is literally detrimental to my health due to my disease. It doesn’t always happen right away it can sometimes take a sleepless night before I come to my senses. Once I let the reaction out of my spirit, it is released and my mind is once again free of unnecessary chaos.
So I will continue to learn how to use filters not only in photos but in any area of my life where it requires it.
Why am I posting about green tea you ask? Well, let me tell you a little story. I recently had a memory come to mind of when I worked next door to Greta’s Ice Cream & Coffee Shop in Breckenridge, Co. I would always go in and help myself to her iced tea and her many varieties of snacks. When Greta’s mom (my memory isn’t the best with names) was there, she would always encourage me to drink their iced green tea. I tried it once and thought it was disgusting. She would say it’s good for you. No thanks I’ll stick with my black iced tea. Not sure how long after that I discovered hot green tea and my world was turned upside down! I’ve never been a coffee drinker so this became my go-to first thing in the morning and to this day, I can’t live without it. If I don’t have my green tea first thing in the morning, God help us all. It’s funny how certain foods and drinks can bring memories to life again.
What’s in store for you today?
Weekend motivation hit the upper body workout this morning thanks to @sovigor video I saved. Feeling pretty good I accomplished this first thing!
The Do Not Disturb hours are usually between 2 pm to 4 pm here at the house because that’s when mom usually takes her nap. I used to make fun of mom and dad when I first learned of their routine but I realized it was beneficial for them to take that time to rest. As they got older, the more important it became and if they missed it, you would know because they would be tired and grumpy. No one understood that more than I did so I did my best to make sure everyone knew so no one would stop by the house around that time or call. If I was home, I would unplug the home phone because it never failed the phone would ring and it would be an unavailable or Spam call.
After dad passed 4 months ago, mom would continue the routine of naps and there were days when the time varied so we would adjust accordingly depending on how mom was feeling. If I was home, I would also take that time if could rest because I would be wiped out from my day. Even on the days when I wasn’t going to work, it was non-stop with mom from the time she woke up until she went down for her naps then being ready when she woke up until she went to sleep at night. At night, I would still find myself checking on her and constantly looking at the monitor to make sure she was okay. So needless to say, I don’t really relax and sleep. The moments of her resting are also my Do Not Disturb moments. I still unplug the home phone and put my cell phone on vibrate in hopes that I can allow or train myself to get some sort of break too. My mind never stops and I’m constantly thinking about what’s next for mom and whatever she may need. Not only that, but I have a responsibility for my own health in the daily management of my disease. I do my best to self-care and either rest, work out, or take advantage of this time to do any other project that I need to concentrate on without distractions.
I cherish these moments and hope that I can continue to learn to quiet the noise and only not only hear but listen to what really matters.
The World of Dlo 