Tag: dailyprompt

I saw this writing prompt this morning and I knew one answer that has been on the forefront of my mind. On September 4, 2023, my mom passed away peacefully here at home, and on November 26, 2022, my father passed away peacefully here at home. I was with both of my parents when they took their last breath. I had the honor and privilege of living with them and being their caregiver for five and a half years. I have yet to fully grasp both of their passings and will eventually have to confront the many emotions and feelings that I have kept inside. What I am willing to share in response to this question is that I find it difficult to say goodbye to knowing what my purpose is in life. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that my purpose was revealed to me in March 2018 and that was to be my parent’s caregiver.

Now, I find myself back to the question of what I want to be when I grow up. At age 52, I honestly don’t know yet, but I know this is a new journey of (for lack of a better term) finding myself again. I know I lost a bit of myself because my world revolved around mom and dad and I set myself aside. I knew the moment would come when I would see myself again but honestly was feeling a bit of trepidation due to not knowing what would be left of me if anything. Mirror mirror on the wall what remains after all.

It is like starting to put a puzzle together but all you have are pieces and no picture on the outside of the box of what the puzzle is supposed to look like. I grab different pieces that look like they fit together and build it up from there. This process can be overwhelming, frustrating, scary, and exciting all at once. My dad and I would do puzzles together and I had my moments when I needed to just stop and walk away because my eyes were getting tired from being strained at looking at the different patterns of designs or some with the same design. I would get frustrated when I could not find a piece and I was convinced that the puzzle was missing that one piece. At least with our puzzles, we had something to refer to for guidance and what the finished product looked like. The current pieces of my life are in just one huge pile and I am still attempting to pull them apart and make some sense of it all.

My only hope is to keep praying and trusting in the Lord to guide me in this new journey that lies ahead. I know each piece of this puzzle will reveal what I need to see.

Daily writing prompt

If you won two free plane tickets, where would you go?

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I literally was thinking of this last night even before this writing prompt was posted. Right before bed the thought crossed my mind and I was struggling with the order of the countries I want to visit. My first choice at this moment would be The Shetland Islands because of the series of books that I’ve read that are based in this area. I found myself lost in the stories and imagined myself being there. They even did a BBC TV series based off of these books. I became even more obsessed with going!

My second choice would be Greece because of a movie I saw many years ago called Grace of Monaco and again I was influenced by the beauty of the country. I’ve also completed some puzzles with the scenery of different areas of Greece. As each image would come together I would daydream that I was there. I also remember an episode of Anthony Bourdain No Reservations being filmed in Greece and that always stayed with me.

My list continues with Italy, Paris, Ireland, and on and on.

One day.

Daily writing prompt

Are you seeking security or adventure?

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I feel a sense of security in where I am right now because I know that these past five years have been the fulfillment of what my purpose is during this chapter in my life. At the same time, my sense of security can waver depending on what each day brings and the obstacles that arise. Being a caregiver to my mom can present many challenges, twists and turns, and uncertainty. Although this causes fear, anxiety, doubt, etc., my faith is what provides me with the sense of security that I’m not alone. No matter what comes my way, I put my trust in God that He is seeing me through to the other side of whatever mountain stands before me.

Ever since I was younger, I have always wanted to travel and see the world. When I was a teenager, I went on Missions trips with my Church youth group to Mexico. A few years later, I went on a road trip with a friend from Texas, Michigan, and the Upper Peninsula, Windsor Canada, then on our way back to Texas we stopped in Memphis TN. Not too many other events stood out after that until I made the decision to move to Breckenridge Colorado after only visiting there once before only a few months prior. This was one of the most adventurous things I had ever done in my life.

When I was younger, my definition of adventure was being able to travel to faraway places that I have never seen but only dreamed of. A place to escape to where I would not have a care in the world and no rush to hurry back home. In my own little world, I’ve had my own versions of adventure which have not required me to travel very far. I finally got a passport about 6 years ago and not for any reason only to have it because I have not given up on my dream to travel. I know the day will come when I will have the opportunity to use my passport and I wait in anticipation of what that is going to feel like.

This post is from 7-13-23, and it was inspired by a writing prompt. I do not normally participate in writing prompts, but this one got my attention for some reason. I had been my parents’ caregiver up until this point, and my dad had passed away in November 2022, so it was now just my mom and me. It is interesting because this post came up in my memories today, and it made me laugh because I still wake up at the same time, even after my mom passed away in September 2023. I still find myself waking up at this time, even before my alarm goes off, whether I am working or not. It is funny how some things never change.

When I wake up varies but it can be between 5:00am-6:00am. Waking up at this time is key to starting out the day in the right way. I am my mom’s caregiver so I need to get myself together first in the morning the best way I can so I can be ready to tend to her once she wakes up. I have her toiletries and everything we need to get her washed up in the morning and dressed. The kitchen table is prepared for breakfast by the time she is up and once I know what she wants to eat, I can make it quickly.

When I go to bed can also vary but usually after getting mom to bed between 9pm and 9:30pm then I can start to get myself ready for bed. This is my time to wind down and reflect on the day, jot down any notes or reminders for myself and things concerning my mom’s care. I can fall asleep right away for the most part and if not, then I will have an audiobook or a nature documentary on and those will usually help me fall asleep. I have a baby monitor in my mom’s room so I do find myself checking in on her in the middle of the night.

This is a schedule that I do my best to keep for my own sanity, but it doesn’t always work out that way. I have learned to be flexible and adapt to whatever may come because, with my mom, there are constant plot twists that can cause the schedule to go out the window.

Daily writing prompt

What makes a teacher great?

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In this writing prompt, I began to reflect back to my teachers growing up and I was remembering a few that stand out in my mind. I had two teachers who were husband and wife who taught at my middle school and the husband was always laid back, had a monotone voice, a comb-over, and always rested his hands on his stomach. It’s sad to say that is all I remember of him and I remember more of my friends and I cutting up in his class and doing our makeup because his class was first thing in the morning. His wife was a little more vocal and strict and would always say “Shame on ya” when she would get upset. I still to this day always think of them because they lived in the neighborhood next to mine and every time I pass their house I wonder what happened to them.

I had another Math teacher from high school Mr. Wayne who definitely influenced me in not giving up on Math. He was patient, took his time to explain each process, and also had a great sense of humor. I looked forward to his class despite the fact that I absolutely hated math and if I could have avoided that subject altogether I would have done it. One thing that helped me was that the school had this phone tutoring service and you could call after school and receive help on any subject. Mr. Wayne would be one of the teachers on this tutoring service and my friend and I would always be calling in hopes we could talk to Mr. Wayne.

In middle school, I had to take a Homemaking class and the teacher was a throwback from the 1950s from her point of view to her wardrobe. She was very proper and was very intent in everything she taught from the semester in cooking to sewing. Students would make fun of her, but I was fascinated by her and respected her because she was different from the other teachers and very confident in how she taught.

When I was younger, people would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up. One of the things was a teacher. There are old photos of me outside with my stuffed animals gathered around while I was reading and writing on a chalkboard. In my mind, that was all I needed to do to be a teacher. I think was makes a teacher great is having strong communication skills, confidence, intention, patience, honesty, and showing that you care if your students are learning.

This writing prompt question of the day sparked some thoughts that I hadn’t entertained in a while. When the word retire was first introduced to me, it seemed like something so far away and unattainable that I didn’t really give it much thought. As I started out in the workforce, I would hear people talk about their big plans after retirement and I began to wonder what will I do when the time comes. I remember saying I was going to retire in the Texas Hill Country. I hadn’t really had the opportunity to see much of the Hill Country. If anything, I had just passed through it or just visited a couple of places, but it apparently made a big enough impact for me to choose that area to settle down. After living in Colorado, I had a dream of buying a home there so that in the event I moved, I would have a vacation home.

I moved from Colorado back to Texas and my plans of buying a home in Colorado didn’t quite pan out. Even after being back in Texas, I honestly haven’t thought about my initial retirement plan of settling down in the Hill Country. Over the last five years since moving back home, I have been a caregiver to my parents which has been my calling for this season in my life. Now with just my mom to care for, I continue to focus on her until this job is complete. I guess when the time comes, I can say I retired from this job and will move on to the next venture. It depends on the day, but at times I think rather than settling down in any one place, I would rather travel and use my passport which has been packed away because both of us have yet to see the world.

Daily writing prompt

Who do you spend the most time with?

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I spend most of my time with my mom. I am her caregiver and I live with her. I have been her caregiver for the past 5 years and had my dad also up until November 2022. I work two days a week so I can try to gain some income and at the same time have time for myself. My mom cannot be by herself so when I am at work, so I have a caregiver here to stay with her. It is difficult because I would like to be able to work more hours but am unable to afford a caregiver to be here any more than we already do. My time with my mom begins between 7 am and 7:30 am so I am up at least before 6am so I can get myself together prior to her waking up. She will usually take a mid-afternoon nap between 2 pm and 4 pm and she will usually go to bed between 9 pm and 10 pm depending on how she’s feeling it can be a little earlier.

I have learned how to categorize my time and use my multi-tasking skills between watching her where she is always (she is wheelchair bound), meal preparation, being a nurse and/or Dr, house chores, trying to work from home, putting in a workout, etc. My constant thought is that my only contact with the outside world is when my Lyft driver/friend who picks me up to take me to and from work (I am partially blind and unable to drive), when I get my nails done once a month, Dr’s appt’s, and run errands. These events are like field trips to me!

Since I spend so much time at home, I am not used to being out and socializing with others. It is a concept that I struggle with because I am so comfortable being alone and the thought of meeting new people makes me feel uncomfortable. My world has always been about my parents. After my dad passed, well my focus became primarily on my mom. A friend asked me recently what I was going to do when my mom is no longer here. The question stopped me in my tracks, and I think I may have had an expression on my face like a deer in headlights. I honestly could not answer that question. When that time comes, hopefully, I will have a clear answer.