Author: dloboss

Today (29 May) is Adrenal Insufficiency (Addison’s) Awareness Day. I have Secondary Adrenal Insufficiency. This post is to share and raise awareness!

Wait! My mind is still in last week! Here is a recap of the previous week’s events. Due to unforeseen circumstances after my recent surgery, I had to reschedule some appointments that I had forgotten were scheduled. I had to play catch up with my Doctor’s appointments. I had my annual eye exam with the Ophthalmologist. After my brain tumor surgery, I was diagnosed with Traumatic Optic Nerve Neuropathy. This was a result of my optic nerves being moved to remove the tumor. My field of vision is along the bridge of my nose; therefore, I lost part of my central and peripheral vision. My depth perception is also off, and I need to be mindful of what is below my chin because I will not see things on the ground. When I am walking, I’m constantly looking at everything. I was informed by the specialist that my vision would either remain the same or gradually get worse. Thankfully, after 16 1/2 years, my vision has remained the same. I also had an MRI of my brain complete, which is required to be done every two years to make sure there are no signs of tumor regrowth. I had not had an MRI in 5 years. I was pleased to receive notification that the results did not show anything to be concerned about.

I had my dentist’s appointment for a cleaning and X-rays. I have been using aligners since October of last year, and so far, so good. I had a bit of a setback with my trays while I was in rehabilitation for physical therapy, but I am back on track. The cleaning process was quick and painless. I have no dental concerns now, so all is well.

I saved the fun for last. I had my annual wellness women’s exam, and thankfully, all is well on this front, too. I even had a last-minute telemedicine appointment with my Primary Physician to close the week.

I report all of this because, as of October 2023, I had begun to reflect and feel like the time had come to put myself first. I felt guilty because, over the last five and a half years, it was not about me. My priority was being my parent’s caregiver and their health, wellness, and quality of life were my focus. Our journey together came to completion, so now I was faced with a now-what moment. Then, it hit me that it was my turn to focus on my health, wellness, and quality of life. There is still more to this part, and I am ready.

It has been 8 weeks since the repair of 5 hernias and the removal of my gallbladder. My healing process is taking longer than I expected. My physicians have recently assured me that my healing process is going to take longer than the usual time due to my being on steroids. Steroids slow the recovery process and weaken immunity, so I am already at a disadvantage. I still struggle to move around sometimes, and sitting can be a challenge. I do not take pain meds unless I am really hurting. Otherwise, I just take Tylenol.

With every pulling sensation, pain, numbness, and tingling sensation, I find myself feeling paranoid and wondering if everything is alright inside. I wish I could look inside my body to make sure.

In the meantime, I seek to distract myself with work and my creative ventures to keep my mind busy and my spirit calm. I am constantly reminded to be patient and to allow my body to heal in its own time.

I was going through an old sketchbook I had used as a scrapbook of cards and other magazine clippings I had kept over the years. I came across this article I had taken from Optimum Wellness Magazine. It struck a chord with me because I have always enjoyed plants, and, quite honestly, I have had better success with indoor plants. Recently I have begun to explore planting outdoors and when I was reading this, it caused me to reflect on what my personal garden consists of.

The other photo, given to me by a dear friend, also reflects how we approach life and the challenges we face. I continue to strive to grow through all circumstances, no matter how painful they are. There is no other choice for me.

It has only been within the last nine months that I have been overcome by some creative thoughts that quite honestly took me by surprise. I have never considered myself a crafty or creative person, but I have always admired those talented in those areas. I would see people with sketch pads and wish I could do that. I would consider it ridiculous to even think that I could.

Nine months ago, my mother passed away, and while I was sorting through her belongings, I found a box that she kept of her sentimental items. It was at this moment that the creative thoughts started flowing. I found myself having ideas for shadow boxes by adding some of my mom’s items. I actually made three and gave them away as gifts. The fact that I shared them with anyone was a miracle, and I felt very vulnerable. At the same time, it felt very liberating. Since then, I have been experimenting with painting (trying to channel Bob Ross in my own way), and I have started with rocks.

To state that I am feeling even more vulnerable right now would be an understatement. I am sharing what I have created so far. My dad used to collect rocks, so I have quite a collection of rocks in my backyard, so I decided to repurpose them. The other designs below the rocks are on picture paper.

I will continue to keep this creativity alive and seek inspiration in life and the world around me.

Today, I received the official discharge date of Monday, April 15th, from the San Antonio Wellness & Rehabilitation Center. It has been painful, frustrating, challenging, humbling, and meaningful the past three weeks, from the hospital portion to my stay here in rehab. I am grateful to the staff for the patience and kindness that they have extended to me during my stay. I cannot express how appreciative I am for all my family and friends’ love, support, visits, and prayers during this time. Thank you to my brothers Ernie and Mike & sister-in-law Lori, sister Sarah & brother-in-law Ronnie, Uncle Art, Aunt Debbie (thanks for the coloring and journal books!), and cousins Jacob, Lucy, Krystal, and Janice for being with me during those difficult instances when I could not respond or communicate with the hospital and rehab staff. I will never forget all that you all did for me. It brings comfort to know that I was not alone, and I look forward to the next part of this recovery process. I have come on the other side of this more determined and stronger.

From the day that I arrived here on March 29^th to the present, it is night and day the progress that has been made. I have had a few more episodes of passing out but have not had one since last week on Thursday. I believe we have remedied the cause of the episodes that have occurred here, and I continue to be proactive in the management of my care while I am here to make sure the episodes do not return. I could not have accomplished any of this without the prayers, love, and support of my family and friends.

Here is a summary of what has transpired since my admittance.

• Improvement in getting up and out of the bed.
• Going to the bathroom on my own.
• Involving my Endocrinologist in the management of my care and medications.
• Completing Physical and Occupational therapy every day.
• My appetite has slowly returned just learning what I can and cannot eat without a gallbladder. The surprise menu with each meal tray and be challenging, to say the least.
• Took a shower on my own while sitting in a chair without any assistance. I only needed help with my drain tubes.
• Becoming stronger in that as of yesterday, I do not need the wheelchair and just the walker for now.
• Walked for the first time without the walker from the therapy room to my room. The therapist had the belt on me as a precaution. Still need to work on my leg strength and quads.
• I am beginning to sleep a little better throughout the night despite the times they come in to take my vitals, drain my tubes, and bring me my medications.
• I met my neighbor across the hallway from my room and we have had time over the last few days to get to know each other. She cannot get out of bed without assistance, so I visit her. I have also met her husband and daughter. It has truly been a blessing to meet her and her family.

This is all that I have for now and I will have more to come. Hopefully, my next one will include me being discharged from this facility. One day and one step at a time.

This statement is profound in its meaning to me because the last week of March ended with me having a hernia and gallbladder surgery and the expectation that I would be returning home by the first of April. The good news is that I was discharged from the hospital by the end of the month the bad news is that I was not going home. I welcomed the month of April as a resident of a Wellness and Rehabilitation Facility. This was one of several plot twists I encountered over the last week. I am still working through and coming to terms with my current reality. For now, I concentrate on completing what is required of me to be released from this facility so I can go home.

Quite a bit has happened since my original blog Cuartito in 2020. First, my father passed in November 2022 and if you are familiar with my previous blog called The Cuartito, you will know that this was my father’s storage shed as well as his version of a man cave. That was his space that contained items that we did not have room for in the house as well as items that he had collected over the years. Many times, I found myself looking inside and wondering where most of these things came from and why he was keeping them. I am sure he had his reasons and I had to respect his area and not question him about it. Through the past years of living with my parents and caring for them, I would gradually begin to eliminate a few small things without him knowing and would also ask him what things he was willing to part with. I would often call Goodwill or Salvation Army to come pick up our donations. After a while, he got used to it and it gave him an excuse to hang out in his shed and rearrange it which consisted of him just moving the items from one end of the shed to the other side. He would even on rare occasions surprise me and ask me to call Goodwill before I had the chance to bring it up first.

Three months after he passed, I began slowly packing his belongings in the house and placing them in the cuartito to begin to sort and see what I was going to donate and what I was going to keep. The moments I would spend in the cuartito would consist of me talking to my father and saying “Seriously?!,” “Why did you keep this?” “We do not even have the thing that goes with this manual anymore!” “What is this dad?”, etc. Because the events that led to his passing came fast and unexpectedly, I had not really processed what had happened and still to this day have not fully dealt with all the emotions, but going into the cuartito is like therapy for me and my time in a way to spend with him.

Over the past year and a half and especially over the last 5 months after my mother’s passing, I have had a chance to pack my mother’s belongings and again place them in the cuartito. Again, I have been going through the therapeutic process of packing, sorting, and organizing items in the cuartito and deciding what to donate and what to keep. I have had a couple of more Goodwill donation pickups since, and I even had a shredding company come and destroy sensitive documents. The space has come a long way and I have had mixed emotions of both feeling productive that I have been able to bring organization to the space, but then I would also have feelings of guilt for going through their belongings and donating items. I often encountered criticism for (in other people’s minds) that I was getting rid of everything too soon. When I had not and only boxed them up and moved them out of the house. I still do have a lot of their belongings in the cuartito organized and secure. Overall, I know it was the right thing to do and I cannot worry about other people’s opinions on whether what I did was right or wrong.

One of the most interesting things that I have encountered through this process is that I have found amazing hidden treasures that my father had kept over the years that have provided glimpses of my father which I did not know. My father was a very private person and kept his thoughts and feelings to himself. Going through the items I found of his just provided me with a little more insight into the things that were sentimental to him and the things he placed the most value on. You learn a lot about a person from the things they keep, and I realize that my father and I were a lot more like than I thought and for that I am grateful.