My Wonder Woman. My mom, Gloria. She was a wonder from the beginning, and I was glued to her side so I would not miss a thing. We were always outside, and she would always read to me. We would hang out on the swing. She would sing and talk to our pets and the birds, and I would watch her work in the yard with my dad. That was my world as a child, my happy place.
My mom was a determined, stubborn, strong, skeptical, loyal, loving, creative, crafty, intentional, thoughtful, and strong woman of faith and God. Even when we were apart for those twenty years, we were still together. Her voice and her love flowed through me. Little did she know how connected we really were because we were both going through our own medical challenges at the same time but experiencing them miles and states apart.
God brought me back to care for her and my dad. This journey showed me just how much I learned from watching her while I was growing up, how pivotal it would play in caring for them both, and how pivotal it would be after they passed.
I still hear her voice, and her love still flows through me. She is still my Wonder Woman.
The Sheriff used to say this to me when I worked at the Sheriff’s Office in Colorado. He would see me and raise his arms up. What Now French Fry or What Now Chola? A funny thing happened recently when I asked myself the same questions. I found myself laughing to myself because I could hear him saying that to me. Why did that memory come to my mind? I’m not sure, but the timing was perfect.
To get to the answer, I must digress and go back a bit to how I ended up here. I’ve been struggling for months now with resigning from my employment of two and a half years. I knew in my heart that it was time to move on, but I was hesitant to make the move. For reasons that were mainly loyalty, the ease of the job, and job security. The reasons for wanting to leave go a bit deeper. I was feeling stagnant, unable to take the position to the next level of growth, and feeling like I was supposed to follow a dream that was not mine. Not to mention the transportation of getting to and from work had been wearing on me for a while, and financially, I just could not justify it anymore.
So fast forward to a month ago, and I found a job posting that seemed to check every mark on my checklist. I came across one of my job alerts on a Saturday morning, and I did not hesitate to submit my application. Within a week, I received a text message from the company representative to set up a video interview. Next thing I know, I have the interview, then two weeks pass, and I receive another message inquiring if I can go into the office for what I thought was a second interview. I went to the office and was informed that I was hired. It was perfect timing because I wanted to finish the month out with my employment, and it was exactly two weeks away. I submitted my two weeks’ notice, and I felt a weight lifted off my shoulders.
I started the new job, which was less than 3 minutes from my house, so the transportation was basically straight to my destination, not like the previous job, which was always an hour and a half to two hours ride. The position was a part-time office assistant, and with my extensive background as an administrative assistant, I could do this with my eyes closed. I was working three days a week to start, and ultimately would be up to four days as needed. The business is a wholesale supplier of quartz slabs, and it is a fairly new office with an office manager (the person who hired me) and a warehouse manager.
After the second day, it was disclosed to me that in addition to my office duties, I was also to be warehouse support. This was not initially disclosed during the interview, so this was a bit of a surprise to me. I began to realize what the warehouse support all entailed, and I began to have my reservations. It seemed like as the days went on, more details of this warehouse portion were being disclosed, and the more my concerns were raised. After my sixth day of work, I knew I could not continue to physically perform the duties of the warehouse, and in addition to this, the training technique for the office position that was presented was also challenging and not forgiving.
I did the one thing that I had only done once in my life before, and that was quit a job after a short period. The first time it was after a month, but at that one, I gave the employer a heads-up that it was a new industry, and I would at least give it a try. We both went in, knowing where we each stood. In this case, I was literally blindsided by all the extra duties that were not disclosed until after being hired. I still felt at peace with my decision, even though I knew I was technically unemployed. Now we get to the part of the initial question: what now, french fry?
I am not going to go into much detail about what happened next, other than God is the provider of all my needs and has never left me in my time of need, no matter if it is financially, spiritually, mentally, or physically. God’s timing is always perfect, and that is what happened. During this, my side job (which is less than part-time hours for the month), which I primarily work at from home, the owner, whom I have worked for two and a half years, presented me with an opportunity to be involved in another aspect of the job in addition to what I already do. The opportunity could not have come at a better time, so for now, I will continue to be available for any additional personal and professional growth that presents itself.
So the answers to what now french fry keep coming, so I am buckling up and joining the ride to see where it goes.
I tend to write things on random pieces of paper from junk mail, the back of printouts, bills, or envelopes that come in the mail. I have plenty of writing pads and journal books, but no, just give me half of a sheet of paper or whatever is handy. I also will cut out things from magazines that catch my eye, and I will say I am going to put it on a vision board, and end up just filing it away in a folder.
Just now, I walked into my home office, and it felt like I was on a mission, not really knowing what the mission was other than being drawn to an accordion file folder I had sitting on top of my craft desk. I looked inside and pulled out a couple of articles and just a single page with an affirmation and scripture that I had cut out of a magazine. I was reading the titles of each, which are the following:
How To Think When-How Your Thoughts Connect To Your Health, Attitude, and Every Single Area Of Your Life.
UnClutter Your Life! 8 Practical Tips to Help You Enjoy A More Peaceful, Simple Life.
God has BIG things in store for your life! Psalm 65:11 and it has 2025 all along the border of this.
As I read over each of these, I just felt like Hey God, you talking to me? I always joke that for God to get my attention, it would help if it were spelled out to me in a sign with neon lights or if He provided me with a play-by-play manual of what I need to do and how to do it. More times than not, I am talking too much and not being still long enough to listen so I can hear His voice. Many times, I find that He speaks to me through people and random conversations, or when I am reading and studying my Sunday School lessons. It is often the little things that I see and encounter daily.
It is incidents like this that bring me comfort and assurance that, despite all my daily failures, faults, and mistakes, I am not alone. He is telling me yes; I am talking to you. He is saying I love you.
If you are interested in these articles, they are from the July/August/September 2024 edition of Joyce Meyer’s Enjoying Everyday Life magazine. The website is joycemeyer.org.
My dad never used his hearing aids, and my mom only used one of her hearing aids, so I was always having to talk loudly so they could hear me over the TV blaring full blast. After dad passed away, it seemed like mom’s hearing got worse, and I often wonder if her dementia played a role in that. After my mom passed away, I still found myself turning on the TV full blast and utilizing the captions. It was too quiet without them here, so that was my way of coping with them being gone. I often encountered a few people who would point out that I would be talking loudly in a social setting. I was thrown off by their comments and almost offended because I did not understand what they were talking about and why they felt the need to point this out to me. I thankfully have never had problems with my hearing before, so there has never been a conversation about me needing hearing aids.
Then, after much thought, it dawned on me that the reason why people would hear me talking loudly was because, after almost 6 years of living with mom and dad, that was how I communicated with them. I had to speak loudly to them to hear me. I guess it became almost second nature to me, and I did not realize it until it was pointed out. I then found that I had to constantly explain myself on the subject. It just became increasingly annoying having to address it to those who felt the need to constantly point it out.
I can see how they did not understand. You can lose yourself, and certain actions and behaviors that you become accustomed to doing while caring for others do not faze you. It is not about you anymore or how you look to others because, at the end of the day, none of those things matter. How quickly people can point out other idiosyncrasies that bother them.
At times, I find myself turning up the TV a bit more (not quite as high as with mom and dad) and utilizing the captions. No, I am not hard of hearing. I just miss mom and dad.
Well, this Saturday began with rainstorms that continued throughout the day. Not quite a walk in the park kind of a day, but more of a not going anywhere day. My body was telling me that I needed to chill after a long week, so it was probably for the best. I shared a post recently called The Doctor Called In Sick and I mentioned that I have been dealing with some issues with numbness, tingling, and pain in my limbs. I was scheduled to have an appointment with the Neurologist to go over the results of an EMG/NCS test I had done on my limbs, but that fell through. The neurologist’s office contacted me to reschedule the appointment, but the earliest she can get me in is in the first week of September. They still have not followed up with me to actually schedule the appointment, so who knows really when I will get in. For now, I will have to keep following up with the office to check for any cancellations in hopes that I can get in sooner. While this was going on, I had the idea of sending the results to the Rheumatologist that I saw last month. I had mentioned to him that I was going to get the tests done during our last appointment. I faxed over the results this week in hopes that he could provide me with an explanation.
This week began with a mixture of uncertainty and anxiety, but everything managed to work itself out, and I found that I was anxious for nothing. The things that I was expecting would go wrong did not, so I was grateful for that. All in all, it was a good week, and so far, the weekend is proving to be a good time for me to reset my mind, body, and spirit.
Let me tell you how the morning unfolded. I had a long overdue appointment scheduled with the Neurologist today at 9am to go over recent nerve and muscle tests on my limbs. I was previously provided with the results by the office that performed the tests, but I need them to be translated into layman’s terms and to discuss what it all means. I have been waiting in anticipation to have this next step happen, but I have only been met with one delay after another. To say I was looking forward to this moment was an understatement. For this morning’s appointment, I had my transportation scheduled in advance with the taxi service provided through my medical insurance. I received a message last night that they were scheduled to pick me up at 7:40am. I was so nervous this morning that I called the taxi service first thing just to double-check the pickup was scheduled. I was prepared and ready for my pickup, but the time came and passed, and it was now 8:00am. So now I am really getting nervous that I am not going to make it on time. I received a call from the taxi driver at 8:15am, and he stated he was on his way and assured me that I would not be late for my appointment.
Immediately after ending my call with the taxi driver, the neurologist’s office called me, and I was informed that the doctor had called in sick. The thought of why you waited until now to tell me crossed my mind. My stomach sank, and I told her I needed to call the taxi driver back because he was going to be at my house at any minute. I called the taxi driver to explain the situation, and he informed me that it was no problem. I even told him that I can provide a doctor’s note explaining what happened. Luckily, since it is through my insurance, there is no charge, but I was worried they might want to charge me a cancellation fee.
I called the neurologist’s office back to reschedule the appointment, and they informed me we can do a televisit appointment at noon today. Obviously, that is more convenient for me, so we scheduled it. I check into the appointment on my phone about 15 minutes before noon. So again, time just keeps ticking away. I even sent a message through the app confirming the appointment, and they did. The next thing you know, it is 1:15pm, and again I am sending another message asking what the delay is. I received a message that they are sorry, but they will have to reschedule my appointment. I cannot put into words how upset and disappointed I was feeling.
Since the beginning of my interaction with this office, it has been lacking in professionalism, efficiency, and the Neurologist did not seem to really show interest in my situation and concerns, and was quick to pass on my symptoms as being associated with my endocrine issues. When in fact, she had no idea what she was talking about, and after speaking with my Endocrinologist, I was referred back to her. Needless to say, I have been anxious to have this appointment to hear what she has to say about these results. Then, based on what she states, I can make an informed decision on whether to stay with her or explore options for another Neurologist for a second opinion.
This is not my first time having to deal with physicians like this, and doctors’ offices that can be lacking in doing their jobs. I know the drill, and I play the game and jump through the hoops. After having a brain tumor removed 17 years ago, I was diagnosed with Secondary Adrenal Insufficiency, Hypothyroidism, and Traumatic Optic Nerve Neuropathy. I have learned to be an advocate for myself and not be afraid to speak up and ask questions. Many physicians whom I have encountered over the years did not know how to treat my disease of Secondary Adrenal Insufficiency. I learned that I needed to keep learning and educating myself on my disease so I can be prepared to ask the right questions and discuss different available treatment options.
All in all, this was not an absolute bust of a day. Four out of the six items on my to-do list were done. It was an annoying hiccup to my day, but it is not going to stop me from pressing on and not stopping until I get answers.
When I was in high school, I remember utilizing Cliff Notes whenever possible. I do not know why I hated book reports, but I would always wait until the last minute to read or not fully read the book, and get the Cliff Notes instead. I do not know if they were effective, but I managed to submit the assignment when expected, and not always with the best grade.
As an adult, I began to enjoy reading books like the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo series and was obsessed with it. I enjoyed reading that series because at the time, I had a coworker who was reading it too, and we would talk about how the story was unfolding, and it would help me get clarification when it took the complex twists and turns. I also got into the Harry Potter series, and the same coworker was reading it too. I could not wait to finish each book so we could share our insights. I would often get impatient and jump ahead in the book because I could not wait to see what was next.
Through the years, I have come across other book series that would get my attention, and I not only read them but also downloaded the audiobook. It would really make it interesting, and I could picture in my mind what each character looked like and the setting of where each story took place. I would have my earbuds on and often find myself so immersed in the story that I would forget I was out in public and would voice my comments or emotions aloud. There is one book series that I enjoyed so much that the country where it is based is the Shetland Islands, and that is on my bucket list of places to visit.
When I lost a little over half of my eyesight over 18 years ago, I remember the Ophthalmologist explaining to me that my vision would either stay the same or would gradually get worse. I am grateful that over the years, my vision has remained the same. Knowing this information motivated me to read as much as I could. That was another reason for me to explore audiobooks. I remember when I was little, I read books along with the mini record player. That was one of my favorite things to do, and I would read and listen to the same books repeatedly. It was a sense of escape for me to the land of make-believe. I would not mind visiting that place from time to time.
There is nothing that tests my patience more than waiting for my transportation. I do not drive since I am partially blind, so I rely on the local Para Transportation service which is a ride share so it is not a like Uber/Lyft where they take you straight to your destination. It involves multiple pick-ups and drop-offs before you arrive at your destination. A typical ride for me to and from work, which is about 15 minutes away from my residence, can be up to a 2-hour ride. Needless to say, it is up to 4 hours wasted on the days that I go to work. This service has a fee of $2 for each trip.
If I have medical appointments to go to, I can utilize a transportation service through my insurance which is free of charge. This transportation will pick you up and take you straight to your destination and pick you up at the time you request. If you are unsure of when you will be done with your appointment, you can phone their office for a will-call request. The catch with will-call is that it can involve a wait time of up to an hour before they will pick you up.
I also utilize Lyft or Uber as an alternative means of transportation for last minute trips, but of course those involve higher cost per trip. If time is a factor and I cannot take the chance of being late for an appointment, then I will use this option.
It has been 18 years since I had my brain tumor surgeries and lost my peripheral vision and half of my central vision. I had just purchased a brand new Toyota Tacoma three months before I was unable to drive. I did not regret purchasing the truck because at that time, we needed to have reliable transportation and through the years following it served its purpose. I remember times when I would just go sit in the driver’s seat of my truck outside my apartment. Just to reminisce what it felt like to be behind the wheel and what it was like to just get in and go wherever I wanted whenever I wanted.
Sometimes those feelings of wanting to drive creep up, but this time I do not have a vehicle in my driveway that I can sit in and pretend. Then again, with all the bad drivers on the road and horrible traffic, I do not think I would have the patience for it.
I woke up feeling a bit off this morning, and even my morning show seemed off. I did not have an appointment today until after lunch, so I entertained the thought of taking a quick nap before starting my day in hopes that I would feel better. When I got comfortable on the couch, I was interrupted by a message from my physician’s office and had to jump on the computer. I was already up by then, so I might as well forget about the nap. On the days I work from home, I often try to fix my hair and put makeup on even though I am not going anywhere. It lifts my spirits and helps me get going. This morning started with a thought of what colors I wanted to put together, and I grabbed an eyeshadow palette. I gravitated toward specific colors and went with the creative flow without thinking about it. I am guilty of overthinking things, which will cause me to hit a wall that no ideas or creative thoughts can break through. This can affect all areas of my life.
Amid my outside transformation, an idea crossed my mind for a reel to put together for the professional organizing company I work for. Let me clarify, I am not an expert on putting videos or reels together. I honestly do not know how to use all available tools and settings to assemble these, but I am basically just doing trial and error. At last, another creative moment came over me, and I put a reel together.
I sat in a moment of silence, feeling a sense of accomplishment. I was almost in a state of shock because of how the day began and how I was feeling until I got up and moved around. The day was not looking promising. As I contemplated sharing this, the words ebb and flow came to mind. I looked up the definition, and of course, many examples came up, but this one stood out to me: “the natural rhythm of life and the continuous change and that there are times when things are on the rise and other times when they are on the decline.”
Things can change minute by minute, hour by hour, and day by day. We never know what lies ahead. We just find ourselves going with the flow.
Anytime we had visitors over to the house, my dad would always go to the door, watch them get into their vehicles, and wave at them as they drove away. If it was friends or family, then all three of us would be there with the front door wide open so they could see Mom because she would be in her wheelchair, and people could not see her unless the door was open.
My dad would do this with repairmen, plumbers, my VIA Para transportation, etc. It did not matter if there was a delay in how slow or fast they would pull away from the driveway or front of the house. He would stand there and wait. I would tell him that he did not have to stand and wait for them because there were times when the drivers would be there for a while to do their paperwork. It did not matter; he would keep the door open to avoid missing when they drove away.
Since their passing, I caught myself doing the same thing. I am carrying on the tradition of Santos & Gloria. So when you come over to visit, the three of us are standing at the front door waving goodbye to you.
The World of Dlo 